Is what you say you want opposite of what you do? If so, the two will never meet without intervention.

It's important to note, though, that I get it. I understand where you're coming from. I used to make the same mistakes. Change is hard to deal with.

It takes hard work to achieve a substantial life goal of any kind, such as raising a family, fostering a relationship, building a business, earning a degree, becoming more mindful, or any other personal achievement that takes time and commitment. You have to ask yourself if you are willing to spend a little time every day improving your life so you can be successful and happy.

You will ultimately become what you repeatedly do. The acquisition of knowledge doesn't mean you're growing. Growing happens when what you know changes how you live. I've included some tips for you to not only think about, but to act upon daily for long-term happiness and success.

Live with integrity. Don't settle for less than what you are capable of. Communicate clearly and ask for what you want and need from people. Speak your truth, even when others judge you for it. Behave in ways that are in harmony with your morals and values. Make choices based on what you believe and not what others believe. And, of course, always doing the right thing, even when it's hard, and even when nobody's going to know whether you did it or not.

Steer clear of drama and those who create it. There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the needless drama and the people who create it. Staying out of other people's drama is an incredibly effective way to stress less and smile more. If you can't say it to their face, you shouldn't say it behind their back. Life is much too short to waste time talking about people, gossiping and stirring up drama that has no substance.

Replace judgment with encouragement. No one truly knows what they will do in a certain situation until they are actually in it. Yes, it's very easy to judge someone else's actions by what you assume your own actions would be if you were in their shoes. But you only know what you think you would do, not what you would actually do.

The truth is, we tend to judge others by their actions and ourselves by our ideals. So do your best to catch yourself when this happens. Remember that when we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person and everything about our own need to be critical.

Be positive and spend time with positive people. Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them. Raise your awareness to your own inner strength and positivity. You are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose to be positive instead by focusing on the great things that are truly important. So talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems. Just because you're struggling doesn't mean you're failing. Every great success requires some kind of worthy struggle to get there.

In addition, do your best to spend more time with positive people and less time with negative ones. People that deliberately doubt, judge and disrespect you are not worth your long-term time and attention.

Make new choices as needed, rather than letting old ones make you. You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who and what hurts you. After all, who we ultimately become depends, in part, on who and what we let into our lives. So don't just settle for relationships and situations that have proven to be unworthy. Exercise your right to choose differently.

Be the hero of your life, not the victim. You may not control all the circumstances that happen to you, but you can decide not to be continuously reduced by the same ones.

Simplify whatever you can, whenever you can. Simplifying is not seeing how little you can get by with. That's poverty. It is how efficiently you can put first things first and use your time accordingly to pursue the things that make a lasting difference in your life that matters. Less really is more. Instead of adding, improve your life by subtracting. Get rid of unnecessary clutter, negative influences and toxic relationships. There is a big difference between what you want and what you need...between what's excessive and what's essential.

Always be real and who you are. The people worth spending time with are interested in others who are confident enough to be themselves. That works out well, because you won't be happy being anyone else .

Express your love without reservations. Love is a verb. Act on it. Today, be the reason someone feels incredibly loved and needed. Give your love away like your life depends on it.

In 10 years from now, people won't remember what clothes you wore, the car you drove and maybe not even your name. But they will remember how you made them feel and the positive memories you gave them. The true impact you make on people will depend on the time and attention you give to teaching those who know less, caring for those who have less, supporting those who are striving, and tolerating those who are different than you. All of which represent the full expression of your love.

Nurture your relationship with your significant other. Intimate love is not just about finding the right person, but working with them to create the right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning, but how much love you build and nurture until the end. A relationship should be healthy, caring, loving, kind, upbeat and positive. It should make your smile a little wider and your life a little brighter in the long run.

A relationship like this sounds great, but it isn't easy. It takes time and attention, and two people who are willing to work together every day to build something special.

Loosen your grip on what's not meant to fit in to your life. Things will happen that you will not always understand, but maybe you're not supposed to understand everything. Maybe you're just supposed to have faith, accept it and let it happen.

So never force anything. Give it your best shot, and then let it be. Most negative circumstances are only a part of your life because you keep thinking about them. Positive things happen in your life when you emotionally distance yourself from the negative things. So stop holding on to what hurts and make room for what feels right. Don't let what is out of your control interfere with all the things you can control.

For more inspiring tips on how to live a happier, more productive life, read "The Angel Affect" and join the mission on Facebook. Also, watch for the release of my new book, "Shine: Illuminate Your Life's Pathway," in the next couple of weeks!