Three simple questions
can be life-changing
Monday, April 14, 2014 3:27 AM
It's not the answers you get from others, but the questions you ask yourself that will help you grow stronger. The simple questions you ask yourself on a daily basis will determine the type of person you become in the long run. Below are three life-changing questions to help you embark on a positive journey of self-inquiry.
Question 1: If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow this person to be your friend?
Honestly, the amount of abuse you tolerate in your relationships is often equal to the amount of abuse you heap on yourself. If you are used to telling yourself that you're unattractive, that you are destined to fail and that you're not capable of performing in the world without someone holding your hand, then you will accept and feel most comfortable in relationships with people who reinforce these same negative beliefs.
Careless words clutter your mind and make you love yourself and life a little less. Your relationship with yourself is the closest and most important relationship you will ever, ever have.
You must love who you are or no one else will. When was the last time someone told you that they loved you just the way you are, and that what you think and how you feel matters? When was the last time someone told you that you did a great job, or took you someplace special to celebrate one of your small, everyday victories, simply because they know you deserve it? When was the last time that "someone" was YOU?
Start treating yourself the way you want others to treat you. Stop discrediting yourself for everything you aren't and start giving yourself credit for everything you ARE.
So when you're hanging out by yourself, watch how you talk to yourself. Remember, the way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. We have to learn to be our own best friends, because sometimes we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.
Question 2: What are you holding on to that you need to let go of?
It happens to you slowly as you grow. You discover more about who you are and what you want, and then you realize there are changes you need to make. The lifestyle you've been living no longer fits. The people you've known forever no longer see things the way you do. So you cherish all the great memories, but find yourself in need of moving on.
Some things simply are NOT meant to be. Everything from your past does not belong in your present. To hold on to relationships and circumstances that have already moved on without you, is to stay stuck in a place and time that no longer exists. Moving on doesn't mean you erase or completely forget the wonderful things from your past, it just means you find a positive way of surviving without them in your present.
We all have a story. We have all gone through something that has changed us in a way that we could never go back to who we once were. In life, this kind of change is inevitable. Everything around you is impermanent...your body, your possessions, your relationships and so forth. You don't have control over every little thing that happens to you, but you do have control over how you decide to internalize it.
Pay as much attention to the changes that are working positively in your life as you do to those changes that are giving you trouble. Appreciate how the unexpected is sometimes better than what you expected. Above all, stop stressing over what's behind you. The end of something good is always the beginning of something great.
Question 3: If today were the last day of your life, would you want to do what you are about to do today?
We are all aware deep down that life is short and death will happen to every one of us, eventually, and yet we are infinitely surprised when it happens to someone we know.
So, live your life today! Don't ignore death, but don't be afraid of it either. Be afraid of a life you never lived because you were too afraid to take positive action. Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside you while you're still alive. Be bold. Be courageous. Be scared, and then take the next step in the direction of your dreams anyway.
You've got to take that step. Because sadly, there are far too many people who live their entire lives on the default settings, never realizing they can customize absolutely everything. Don't be one of them! You have to live your own life your own way. That's all there is to it. Each of us has a unique fire in our heart for something that makes us feel alive. It's your duty to find it and keep it lit. You've got to stop caring so much about what everyone else wants for you and start actually living for yourself.
Find your love, your talents, your passions and embrace them. Don't hide behind other people's decisions. Don't let others tell you what you want. Design and experience your life! The life you create from doing something that moves you is far better than the life you get from sitting around wishing you were doing it. So do something today, and every day, that moves you!
You think about 60,000 thoughts a day. How well have you chosen the words you've recently used to talk to yourself? Are you using statements that empower happiness, or statements that refute it? Self-inquiry is one of the surest paths to personal freedom and positive change. Sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.
For more tips on how to live a happier and more fulfilling life, read "The Angel Affect" and join the mission on Facebook. There are a few copies left at area IGAs. Or you can order it online at Amazon.com.