You can make life easier
Monday, August 04, 2014 9:54 AM
Life seemed so much easier when you were younger, right? Even though it seems that way, the truth is, life still is easy. It always will be. The only difference is the older we get, the harder we make things for ourselves.
When we were young, we saw the world through simple, hopeful eyes. We knew what we wanted and we had no biases or concealed agendas. We liked people who smiled. We avoided people who frowned. We ate when we were hungry, drank when we were thirsty and slept when we were tired.
As we grew older our minds became gradually disillusioned by negative external influences. At some point, we began to hesitate and question our instincts. When a new obstacle or growing pain arose, we stumbled and fell down. This happened several times. Eventually, we decided we didn’t want to fall anymore, but rather than solving the problem that caused us to fall, we avoided it all together. Over the course of time, this made our lives harder and harder and we started losing touch with who we really are and what we really need.
If you’re nodding your head, here are some tips to make life easier again, while being true to yourself.
First, it’s important that we forgive ourselves for making mistakes. We need to learn from our errors and move forward. Make a pact with yourself today to not be defined by your past.
Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn’t what you get for it, but what you learn from it. A happy, successful life, after all, is not a life absent of problems, but one that’s been able to rise above them.
The world can be a difficult place. You may experience suffering, heartbreak and loss. These circumstances can take a toll on your happiness, but never lose hope.
Sometimes you have to work at happiness. There are always going to be hurdles in life that may seem too difficult to clear simply by adopting a positive mindset. In a sense, true happiness would not be possible without a certain amount of suffering. It helps us appreciate the good times. It helps us grow. In suffering, you can find great strength, in heartbreak you can find resilience, and in loss you can find a renewed appreciation for life.
Sometimes we get lost in trying to live for someone else, trying to meet their expectations and doing things just to impress them. Take a moment and think about it. Are you doing things because you truly believe in them?
Remember your own goals. Live, do and love so that you are happy, because when it comes down to it, relationships can end in an instant, but you will live with yourself for the rest of your life.
How would your life be different if you walked away from drama, gossip and verbal defamation? Let today be the day you speak only about the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same. Those that refuse to support you CAN be ignored by you. It’s as simple as that. Incredible things happen when you distance yourself from negativity and those who create it. Don’t get caught up in drama. Just walk on by.
You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, childhood friend, lover, colleague or a new acquaintance. You don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. However, if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.
Don’t allow your mind to unnecessarily wrestle with events that aren’t even remotely likely. Your sore throat is probably not life threatening. Your lost driver’s license probably did not fall into the hands of a miscreant looking to steal your identity. Negativity, like thinking the worst has happened, only breeds more negativity. It’s a happiness riptide. It will carry you away from shore and if you don’t swim away, it will pull you under.
The bottom line is that you can see the world through a lens of doubt and despair or hope and excitement. It’s your choice. Either way, you will someday arrive at the same destination. The only question is, do you want to arrive with a frown or a smile?
Stop putting off decisions. Bad decisions are almost always better than no decisions at all. Indecisiveness just delays, while bad decisions teach us to yield better ones. In the end, we most often regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have and the decisions we waited too long to make. Always take the chance!
Another driver cut you off in traffic? Your friend never texted you back? Your colleague went to lunch without you? Everyone can find a reason to be offended on a daily basis, if they assign negative intent to these otherwise innocent actions. Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t take things personally. Let today be the day you look for the good in everyone you meet.
One way to deal with stress and loss is to immerse yourself in doing good deeds for others. Volunteer. Get involved in life. It doesn’t even have to be a big, structured event. Say a kind word. Encourage someone nearby. Pay a visit to someone who is alone. Get away from your self-preoccupation for a while.
When it comes down to it, there are two types of people in this world. There are givers and there are takers. Givers are happy. Takers are still unhappily wondering what’s in it for them.
There’s no such thing as perfect success, just as there’s no such thing as perfect failure. This is why labeling things in extremes — all or nothing, success or failure — is an exercise in futility. What does exist, however, is a continuous series of imperfect moments filled with infinite possibilities and opportunities. Appreciate the grey area between the extremes — the journey, the experiences.
Above all, never let success get to your head or failure get to your heart.
For much of our lives, especially at the beginning, we get told what to do, how to think, what looks good, what “success” is, and more. You don’t have to buy into any of it anymore. Think for yourself. Listen to yourself. Break the mold. When you stop doing what everybody else wants you to do and start following your own intuition, you will find exactly what you are looking for.
Have you read “The Angel Affect” yet? You can also like our facebook page to get daily inspirational tips and win a free copy. My new book “Shine: Illuminate Your Life’s Pathways” is due out in a few weeks. Stay tuned for details!